Monday, 7 November 2016

CARAMEL APPLE & WALNUT PIES | AN ALTERNATIVE TO A MINCE PIE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!



So Halloween is over and Bonfire night has been and gone, which can only mean one thing... CHRISTMAS! Some may say it may just been a teeny bit early to be thinking about the festivities and all that they entail and others may already have cracked out the tinsel and be galloping around their house to jingle bell rock. Which ever side you're on, it's inevitable that over the next couple of weeks Christmas will be everywhere.

Lots of words are synonymous with Christmas and I think mince pies have to be right up there as mince pies have always been in my family, annually being very nicely done by my nana. Whether I was leaving one for santa when I was little or having one with a cuppa each day of advent, mince pies and Christmas just sort of go hand in hand. But not everybody shares the love of these fruity little treats, bringing me to create this recipe as an alternative to mince pie but still keeping the yummy, buttery pastry.


Caramelised apple is proving to be very popular in my family either in a traditional apple pie with a crumbly crust or an apple betty - which I will admit I had no idea what one was until my mum literally begged that I bake her one.



For this recipe I used freshly picked bramley apples that my mum got from a friend at work, and homemade caramel sauce. But you can use any bramley apples are good and if you aren't keen on making your own caramel you can easily pick a tin of it up.

The Pastry
375g plain flour
265g unsalted butter (at room temp)
130g brown sugar (plus extra for sprinkling)
1 large egg (and another egg beaten for glazing)

The filling
3 large bramley apples
1 packet of walnut halves 
200ml double cream
250g brown sugar
60g unsalted butter (at room temp)

The method

*Preheat the oven to 220 celsius and grease a muffin tin.  

1. First we are going to make the short crust pastry. To begin with measure and sieve the plain flour and add in the butter, rub together until a breadcrumb consistency is made. Add the sugar and egg into the breadcrumbs and with an electrical mixer (or by hand) mix together. Just be careful not to over mix. 

2. Gently sprinkle flour onto a surface, remove the pastry from the bowl and fold on the floured surface until the pastry comes together. You can then wrap the pastry in clingfilm and leave to chill in the fridge for 10 minutes. 

3. Whilst your pastry is chilling you can begin by peeling the apples and cutting them into segments of four. Place them in a deep, medium pan and fill the pan up just enough to cover the apples with normal temp water. Put the pan on a medium heat and add a sprinkle of sugar to the apples and allow to boil for 5-10 minutes. After the apples have boiled drain them as to ensure there is no remaining water. Put to one side for later.

4. Take your pastry out of the fridge and place onto the floured surface again. Roll out the pastry to approx 3mm thick and using a circular cookie cutter cut 16 circles and place them into the greased muffin tray. With the remaining pastry, re-roll it out to the same thickness but this time take your star cookie cutter and cut a further 16 stars out (you can keep these to one side on a floured plate to put on top of your pies later)

5. Now we can make the homemade caramel sauce. Obviously you can buy caramel sauce in a tin if you want, but I much prefer to make my own. Take a medium pan and add your sugar plus 4tbsp of water before putting on a medium heat. Keep stirring until the sugar has dissolved. It is important you keep stirring as the sugar can stick if it is not being watched (yes I learnt the hard way...) 

6. Once the sugar has dissolved turn up the heat and allow the sugar to bubble for roughly 8-10 minutes - just keep stirring! Then take off the hob and add the butter and cream, continually stirring until all is dissolved. 

7. Cover apples in caramel sauce and add the walnuts to the mix. Ensure both apples and walnuts are completely covered in caramel and slowly begin to fill your pastry cups. 

8. With the beaten egg use a pastry brush to brush the sides of the pastry cup before adding your star to the top and pushing down at the edges to ensure it is sealed. You can then finish off the pie by dusting with more egg and sprinkling some brown sugar on top. 

9. Pop them into the oven for 15-20 minutes (until a nice, golden brown) and allow to cool for a further 15 minutes before removing from the muffin tins. 

10. Serve to taste, perhaps with extra cream? And enjoy!

I hope you enjoyed this recipe! I was contacted by Wren Kitchens to come up with an alternative Christmas recipe for their Wren Christmas Campaign whereby each advent day has a blogger share there favourite alternative holiday recipe. I was so excited to come up with this and share it with everyone. What do you think? Is this something you would be tempted to make yourself? Or can you think of any other good, alternative Christmas recipes based on traditions?

You can find other delicious festive recipes here:

http://www.wrenkitchens.com/wrens-christmas-kitchen  



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Saturday, 17 September 2016

8 WAYS TO PAMPER YOURSELF


Once in a while we all need to treat ourselves. Whether this be through a bouquet of roses or binge watching Netflix, we all deserve it and require it. One of my favourite ways to treat myself? By having a good old fashioned pamper day! It's amazing how good it can feel to soak in a bubbly bath and apply a fresh coat of nail varnish. I am terrible for sticking to routine and forget to do all the things we are told we should do in our  beauty routine such as moisturising daily. Although when it comes to people dictating what we should and shouldn't be doing, I truly believe it is all down to personal preference. These are just my ideas of ways you give yourself a pamper day at home.
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Monday, 12 September 2016

WEEK THREE: BREAD WEEK | BAKING ALONG WITH THE GBBO


Bread week always proves hard but this series luck didn't seem on a majority of the bakers sides. And with Paul's words of erm... encouragement it's no wonder the bakers didn't feel confident in their bakes. I don't think Paul was getting enough sleep because he was so harsh, but I guess when you're a professional baker you have the authority to be. But I know I would be leaving the tent in tears if he insulted my bakes...

The signature challenge was to bake a chocolate bread which I will be honest I don't think sounds that nice. When I think of bread I always think of savoury and would much prefer a cheesy, garlic bread as opposed to a chocolatey bread.
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Monday, 5 September 2016

WEEK TWO: BISCUIT WEEK | BAKING ALONG WITH THE GBBO



From eating sticky carpet to collapsing gingerbread houses and the most important question tearing the nation apart, do you dunk your biscuits in your cuppa or not? Week two tested the bakers biscuit skills with three challenges that would demonstrate their icing, swirling, whirling and construction of an autobiographical gingerbread scene that for some ended in disaster.
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Tuesday, 30 August 2016

WEEK ONE: CAKE WEEK | BAKING ALONG WITH THE GBBO



It's back! It's finally back. The Great British Bake Off has come back giving me serious baking envy and a lot of us rumbling tummies. I only started watching Bake Off a couple of years ago but as soon as I saw it, I was HOOKED. Wednesday nights are dedicated to the shenanigans that come from that famous tent with delicious bakes and the banter between Mel and Sue.

This year I started what I like to call my baking journey. I have always been a bit useless when it comes to things like baking because, well, I never really gave it the time of day. But as I am getting older I am wanting to be able to become a true Snow White, with a pie cooling on the window ledge and a bird chirping a tune as I tidy the house. Okay fantasyland over - this week on the GBBO we went to cake town. I am going to dedicate a series on my blog rounding up my inner most thoughts on each weeks episode as well as attempting either a signature, technical and (well, very unlikely) a showstopper each week. Think of it as though I am taking part and this is what I would produce to the judges... I am also hoping it will improve my baking!
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Monday, 22 August 2016

CAT CAFE MANCHESTER

Pinch me I am dreaming... I suspect this may be what a cat lovers paradise might look like. When I heard about the Cat Cafe coming to Manchester a couple of months back I knew I had to book tickets. I mean what could be more perfect than sipping a cup of coffee whilst being surrounded by lots of beautiful cats?

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Wednesday, 17 August 2016

THE SMART GIRLS GUIDE TO STAYING ORGANISED & MOTIVATED



I love repeat LOVE having a wave of creativity hit me. I can just be taking a shower and then WHAM it all comes to me at once. I have found that when it comes to making use of this creativity being organised is key. It's all very well having lots of ideas racing around your mind but if you're not careful these ideas can swim off far, far away, never to be seen again. Therefore we have to catch them and pull them out of our brains and pour them onto paper. And to do that we have to be organised.
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Wednesday, 10 August 2016

5 DUTY FREE ESSENTIALS YOU NEED

A visit to duty free has always been somewhat of a tradition in my family, it's the official starting point where you can escape reality and really treat yourself. Since I was little and buying miniature Barbie perfumes I have always enjoyed the experience of duty free as there's nothing more satisfying whilst on holiday than being able to purchase something a little more luxurious for yourself and gift sets that are exclusive to duty free.

Although my holiday was back in June and I had already indulged in some Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium and a miniature collection of Chloe, I was lucky enough to experience duty free again this time in the comfort of my very own home thanks to World Duty Free. I was very kindly invited to an event in Birmingham airport but sadly couldn't go so instead they sent me some amazing goodies. Imagine the heart eye emoji... Because that is exactly what my face was like when I came home and opened the parcel.

Inside was just about everything you should be looking for this Summer whilst in Duty Free and I decided to share them with you all today in what I think are the duty free essentials.

So what exactly are the duty free essentials?


NAILS | OPI Retro Summer Set £16.35

OPI is genuinely one of my favourite nail brands and I always find saying you're wearing an OPI nail varnish a bit fancier and a sure way to make people Ooh and Ahh. This is the Retro Summer collection which includes 6 different shades all representing how we might feel throughout the Summer: SPF XXX: A blend of red/orange, Towel Me About It: A bright yellow tone, Sailing  & Nailing: A light tone baby blue, Flip Flops & Crop Tops: An elegant pink, What's The Double Scoop: A dusky pink and my favourite of the collection: I'm Getting Tan-Gerine: A medium shade of orange with a creme finish.

From left to right: SPF XXX, What's The Double Scoop?, Flip Flops & Crop Tops, I'm Getting Tangerine, Towel Me About It, Sailing & Nailing.

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Tuesday, 2 August 2016

A SHABBY CHIC HOMEWARE HAUL


B&M are becoming one of my favourite, go-to places when it comes to home accessories. It's amazing what you can find and their prices are ridiculously good. It's hard when you want the perfect home but the price tag just won't allow it; but discount stores such as B&M's are a fabulous way to save pennies yet achieve the interior look you want.
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Monday, 18 July 2016

HELLO KITTY OPI NAIL VARNISH REVIEW



Hello Kitty to me is the epitome of all things cute and girly. So imagine my joy when I discovered that OPI had created some super sweet shades for a Hello Kitty collection. There are twelve colours in the collection which range from pretty pinks, bright yellow, blue, red, white and jet black. The latter are less appealing to me as opposed to the pink and glittery shades. I have been wanting some of these nail varnishes for a while and the other day whilst browsing in TK MAXX I saw this nail duo set with perhaps the sweetest toe separators ever (if they are in competition with one another that is) and the price was how much it would probably be for just one stand alone varnish. I can't specifically remember how much I paid but I think it was around the £15 range. Needless to say it was a done deal at a price I couldn't refuse.
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Wednesday, 6 July 2016

10 WAYS TO GLAM UP YOUR HOME

Photo Credit: Ceres

This time on the blog it's all about ways to create a glamorous home environment. I have taken inspiration from some of my favourite, glam Instagram accounts and thought up cost effective ways we could all recreate them in our own homes. I can't be the only one who lusts after an Instagram worthy home, one so chic it is enough to get me 5k likes and make peoples jaws drop. Of course the reality is we can't all live like a real housewife of Orange County sadly... But there are small changes that can be done to contribute to a home that defines glamour. 
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Wednesday, 1 June 2016

THE PURRFECT GIFT BOX?


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21 LIFE LESSONS AT 21



Since when was it time to turn 21? It's undoubtedly scary when you could have sworn that last year you were just leaving high school and now you are about to enter the adult world (although I feel as far from an adult as I could possibly be). Isn't it funny how when we were 15 we thought that everyone in their 20's was an adult and so mature? It seems damn right ridiculous now! I turn 21 this week and although truth be told it doesn't feel any different to other birthdays, despite how it's meant to be one of the big birthdays of your life, it has given me a reason to think about those first 21 years and perhaps what I have learnt in that short but forever time. In no way am I trying to be the voice of reason, because really lets face it I have no reason, but I do honestly believe these are the little fragments of life I have learnt and I thought it would be poignant to share them with you as my 21st birthday approaches. 

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FEARS OF TRAVELING & NOT LETTING YOUR ILLNESS WIN


Summer is approaching and with that comes holiday season. I haven't travelled abroad in nearly 6 years and since then it's safe to say a lot has changed in my life and anxiety has become somewhat a familiar component in my day to day life. 

I'm not sure what it is exactly that makes me so anxious before flights. I am not afraid of heights, not really claustrophobic but there is something about the whole shenanigans of an airport that makes my tummy feel like it's doing acrobatics. I guess it's part excitement for the holiday ahead and part anxiety to what it will entail. We all must at some point get nervous or stressed before jetting off into the unknown right? But where the problem really stems from is from being unwell whilst being away and letting the anxiety control MY holiday. 
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Thursday, 31 March 2016

Delicious marshmallow cupcakes with vanilla buttercream icing*



Welcome Spring! What a perfect season to bring out the tea set and invite your friends around for a cuppa and a cupcake or two, or maybe three? I have written the perfect recipe for a batch of yummy marshmallow cupcakes with vanilla buttercream icing for Wayfair. 

I was sent their cupcake making machine to test out and now it has become a staple in my kitchen. I can't wait for any occasion to pop up where cake is acceptable. Saying that, when isn't the right time for cake?

Click here to read my recipe on how to make your own batch of delicious marshmallow cupcakes with vanilla buttercream icing!





* Click here to view my other post for Wayfair about how to use your tea set to style your home!


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Tea party with a twist by Wayfair*


Being an avid tea drinker and enjoying nothing more than a pretty teapot, I started to wonder: what other ways could I use a tea pot and tea cup to decorate my home?

I have teamed up with Wayfair to bring you a few ways you can use your tea set to decorate your home and some ways to put your tea set to good use, other than for tea parties! Whether you are a beauty queen, have green fingers or an artistic flare - there is a style to use your tea set for everything. 



To read my other post for Wayfair on how to bake some delicious marshmallow cupcakes click here!

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Emily xox
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Monday, 14 March 2016

10 reasons why I love Spring



1. Oh hello there sun

Sun? What is this thing you speak of? What's there not to love about warmer weather? Plus Spring is perhaps the perfect season because it has the potential to be sunny and glorious during the day and not too stuffy at night. Oh yeah and cheaper heating bills.

2. Pastels

My favourite colour palette and I love how during Spring everything from fashion, nails to home decor is predominantly in pastels. Anything on the pastel pallet just shouts happiness, optimism and fun. 

3. Less layers

The weather does brighten up that's for sure but it does still seem to be in a bit of limbo. Of course we can take off a few layers such as the gloves, scarf (and a jumper or two.) But it still gets chilly so I think it might be too much to put the cardigans and jackets away just yet. 

4. Spring cleaning 

Spring stands for new beginnings and fresh starts, so it's the perfect opportunity to clean out your home and your life. Giving your home a deep clean from top to bottom and clearing out all the things you don't need anymore and donating them to charity is a great idea. It can also be a time to cleanse yourself, perhaps learning something new?

5. The great outdoors

It's time to crack open the windows and step outside into the great outdoors. It feels like Winter has lasted an eternity this year; and whilst I do enjoy being cosy and warm in front of the fire, I am pleased that the weather is warming up enough to enjoy walks and fresh air more. 

6. Drip, drip drop little April showers

You know what they say April showers bring May flowers.

7. Lighter mornings, lighter nights

Bye, bye  SAD and hello brighter weather and brighter mood. What better feeling than waking up to the sun. 

8. Flowers in bloom 

To me daffodils and tulips are the epitome of Spring. Flowers really do add to the beauty of anywhere and seeing them beginning to bloom really does make me smile. As soon as I start to see daffodils appearing I know Spring is on the way. 

9. Baby animals 

N'aww the general cuteness of baby animals in Spring is just adorable. Fluffy little ducklings by the lake with their mother and bunnies. Nature I think is such a fundamental part of the Spring season.

10. Season love 

Spring is great, but guess what season is next? SUMMER!

Also doesn't Spring make you feel more optimistic? Waking up in the morning to nicer weather just seems so much more encouraging than waking up to doom and gloom!

Emily xox 
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Saturday, 12 March 2016

Emma Bridgewater factory tour

I love collecting cups, mugs, teacups, saucers and teapots, so when I knew there was a chance of a tour around the Emma Bridgewater factory I was delighted. The other week I was fortunate enough to be able to go on one of the morning tours around the factory and was astonished by the whole process of creating some of our favourite pottery. Up until this point I had been quite ignorant as to the mechanisms of how the pottery is created. I was left in awe at the sheer craftsmanship and skill that it took to create each piece individually. 

It all started with a teacup & saucer 
The Emma Bridgewater factory is located in the heart of pottery making, Stoke on Trent. It is directed by Emma Bridgewater and her husband Matthew. The whole collection is hand painted and the process to actually creating our favourite pieces is long and extensive. There is a firm guarantee that your product will have had time, care and patience put into it. Emma has said that her eureka moment came when she was hunting for a teacup and saucer as a present for her mother. She said she couldn't find anything that she could picture in her mother's kitchen, thus came the idea to start designing pieces that could belong in any home yet still maintaining British tradition  I was eager to go and see for myself the process of how the pottery that ends up on our kitchen tables is created. I mean if it's good enough for Kate and Wills to visit, then it's good enough for me!




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Friday, 4 March 2016

5 quick ways to add Spring to your home with Next

Guess what? Spring is almost upon us! Even though most of us seemed to have had a flurry of snow this week (seriously it's March?) 

I am more than ready to say goodbye to Winter for another year and welcome the new life and freshness of Spring. As the seasons change there is always so much I want to buy and do to redecorate the flat. Unfortunately many of us simply cannot afford to do this. So the next best thing is to make simple and quick changes to your home to welcome in the new season.
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Wednesday, 2 March 2016

DIY: M is for mum | the perfect, handmade Mother's Day present


So it's the week of Mother's Day and if you're still thinking of the perfect, unique gift for your mum/nana/auntie/whoever, then why not try something handmade?

You don't have to be into crafting particularly to make a present as it is the personal touch that adds to the sentimentality. This year I decided to create my own bespoke 'M' with a shabby chic theme. Letters are increasing in popularity and I thought instead of buying one from the shops, hand making one and adding certain elements I know would suit my mums personality would be nicer. It was quick and cheap to make but still is a cute little present to give your mum this Sunday!
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ALDI stationery haul

Ask me what my favourite thing to shop for is, besides home decor and the answer would be stationery. I admit I can often find myself caught in a storm of disorganisation, but as a rule I do like to be organised, I promise! This means I need, yes need, to buy pretty stationery, because pretty stationery just makes everything better, right?

This week I was in Aldi and came across an amazing range they have out as part of their weekly special deals. I don't know about your Aldi but at mine you literally just have to dig through a big basket where everything seems to just be chucked in. It's kind of like the Hunger Games only you're fighting for a notebook or cereal tin. I literally picked one up and then another, and then another... You get the picture.

Here is what I bought:

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Thursday, 18 February 2016

DIY geometric pin board



Where better to keep all those vital reminders than on a pin board? My own board was starting to look a bit worse for wear, so I decided that it needed a serious makeover. 

As I have been loving the geometric pattern at the moment, I decided what better way to add a little bit of geometric style to my bedroom than through my pin board. Here is my guide on how I created my own geometric triangle design. 
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Sunday, 14 February 2016

A morning walk around the lake

I often see people complaining about where they live. They dream of being able to escape and leave behind their roots. I am actually quite proud of where I live, and although it would be a dream to visit many places around the world I would always be happy to come back to the place I call home.

One thing in particular I am grateful for living near is the lake. Throughout the seasons it still remains such a beautiful place to go for a walk (okay, so perhaps in Summer it's a bit more warmer but you get what I am trying to say!)

Going to the lake early in the morning when there are few people around gives you the fresh air and motivation for the rest of the day.

I know not many people are lucky to live near such a beautiful piece of nature, and for that I am grateful.


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Friday, 12 February 2016

An afternoon with George

A few weeks ago I met up with a rather handsome chap called George. It was an afternoon date and things moved pretty fast. He slobbered a bit and I didn't think much to his etiquette when it came to eating; he dropped most of it on the floor and started to lick up the crumbs! Aside from that he was very charming and I do hope we have a second date sometime soon. Although he hasn't called me yet?

Anyway he very kindly agreed to let me take some photographs of him for free, which I was pleased about as he is model material:



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Tuesday, 9 February 2016

The greatest thing I have ever been given



I could write down a ton of material gifts people have given me. But what do they really mean? Sure getting gifts is nice and exciting, but at the end of the day I value far greater things that people have given to me. 

I suppose when I read the subject being: something someone gave to you, I came up with lots of things that have been given to me over the years. A couple of things that stood out to me where things my family have given to me in particular the morals and values they have installed in me growing up. 
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9 things that make my home a happy home

Thanks to an article on Good Housekeeping a couple of weeks ago, there are apparently  9 things that scientists say your home needs if you want to be happy. So I have decided to do my own list of things I need in order to be happy in my home. 



Scientists think that your home being stylish and clean doesn't equate to the happiest life you could lead. They believe there are colours, scents and accessories you should feature in your home to improve the chances of you being the best, most happiest version of you EVER.



After reading the article I can understand why certain items do encourage happiness, for example scented candles. But I personally believe we all have various preferences to what makes our home unique and special to us. 
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Sunday, 7 February 2016

Dear Mum

Dear Mum, 

Thank you for being the best friend I could ever have. Nobody will ever replace the bond we have created these past 20 years. You have made me laugh in even the most difficult of situations, like the time you accidentally chucked a bottle of water over a passenger on the train (still makes me laugh) or when you fell over in the middle of the cinema and you couldn't move through hysteria. 
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Thursday, 4 February 2016

Laura Ashley SS16 collection



I wish Spring would hurry up and make an appearance. I am getting tired of grey, damp and cold days. I am ready for the fresh beginnings of Spring. 

With Spring comes the SS16 collection brought from Laura Ashley. I am particularly admiring the concept of bringing the outdoors in. I always associate Spring with the outdoors, nature and freshness. It's the perfect theme to give your home a real Spring clean.
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Time to talk about depression


Today is Time to Talk day, a day dedicated to talking about mental health. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to write about one of the topics I have been wanting to speak out about for a while. 

Before I start I want to state that this is my own experience. I do not want to put everyone in similar professions under one umbrella. There are some absolutely amazing people who work for the NHS, who literally change lives. There is one lady who I will be forever grateful to during my stay in hospital. She was just a student nurse yet seemed so experienced, comforting and always had an ear to lend. My post will focus around some members of staff in the NHS, ones I have experienced so far who have prompted me to write this post. This is my time to talk:

One of the biggest issues I have with some medical professionals is that some don't even seem fully trained in the role they are in. Whilst I was in hospital we would have regular staff during the week who we would grow to recognise and develop relationships with. If you knew a certain member of staff was on duty that day, it made the world of difference. Now I am not saying I expect these people to work every single day, that's impossible. However, what I am saying is that on specialist units such as for eating disorders, you should not bring random members of staff who have no previous experience with the illness. 
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Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Depression isn't black & white



I had such an amazing and heartwarming response to my last post The Joke Wears Thin  and it really gave me the courage to write some more. I had been so nervous to share my blog with people who actually knew me in real life. My anxieties stemmed from being mocked for thinking I was interesting enough to write a blog, or that people would talk about the poor quality of my writing. Although these anxieties are still there, picking at my brain, I realised how much I do enjoy writing and how great it would be to share it with the world. 
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Saturday, 30 January 2016

A little pink dream

It seems I have got my crafting mojo back, finally!

After my success at Christmas with selling my handmade decorations, I decided to take a little break and plan ahead for the next year. I have had so many ideas buzzing around in my head. I am constantly browsing online or visiting Hobby Craft to get supplies. I had everything you could imagine - felt, wool, cotton. But something was missing. The motivation to craft.

I felt lonely without it, as crafting had gotten me through the difficulties I faced during the festive season and somewhat been my therapy. Luckily it has come back and now I am excited to show you one of the little bits I am working on. 

Dream catchers are a pretty addition to any home whether you believe in the Native American folklore or not. Personally I like to believe that by hanging a dream catcher above my bed only good dreams can be encouraged.

Whatever your decor I am sure you can find a dream catcher to suit your individual style. That's where my crafting love comes in. I have been making some dream catchers recently and wanted to share with you one of my favourite completed designs.



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Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Oriental & copper trend in interiors

I always wished I could master the skill of origami and create beautiful, bespoke pieces to hang in my room. But sadly, I never could. However, this past week I have been admiring oriental interiors, and it seems that there has been a few more home decor emerging; including pieces with an origami pattern.



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Friday, 22 January 2016

Depression isn't a real illness

I wonder what it's like to think depression isn't an illness. To feel confused when they hear of someone not being able to work due to being depressed. It must be pretty glorious to simply think it can all be fixed with a little bit of exercise or a good nights sleep. I wish I could say I felt depressed one day but wake up happy the next. I would give anything to have one off day, but still be okay to get up and get dressed. 
Instead I am either left in great distress, reduced to floods of tears consumed with thoughts I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy, or completely numb and lifeless, lacking the energy to even get a drink. 
There comes a time when you begin to stop trying to explain to people that the medication won't heal the wound that has been gaping open for so long. The wound has become infected and sore, and it hurts to cleanse and medicate it. 
My heart is broken each time somebody comments on my weight gain and how much better I look. Agreed, I am nowhere near as physically poorly as I was in 2014 during my hospital stay. But the mind hasn't healed, I am still left with so many unanswered questions and the pain is still very real. 
For those who tell me to be grateful for being alive, for having a roof over my head and a loving family - I apologise but I can't. Indeed I am lucky in those aspects but my mind can't accept these factors quite so easily. Mental illness isn't physical and lyes internally, gnawing away at your brain until there is nothing left. It's waking up and wishing you hadn't, sleeping 20+ hours a day then never sleeping at all, the lights being to bright and a whisper being too loud, and it's seeing the darkness when you once saw the light. 
The next time you think depression isn't a real illness, please talk to me. Because I can promise you it is very real.  
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Thursday, 21 January 2016

Birdcage table lamp from Dunelm

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Set the caged bird free...

So many pretty lights, so little time. One of my ultimate favourites is this cream birdcage table lamp from Dunelm. I've had it a while now, yet it still remains one of the main aspects in my room I admire the most. Looking on the internet, it doesn't look like they do this specific design anymore although there is one very similar; you can view it by clicking here. I am thankful that birdcages are still popular through the home decor world and especially in the wedding community. It means lots more beautiful things on the shelves to add to the home.
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