Wednesday, 1 June 2016

21 LIFE LESSONS AT 21



Since when was it time to turn 21? It's undoubtedly scary when you could have sworn that last year you were just leaving high school and now you are about to enter the adult world (although I feel as far from an adult as I could possibly be). Isn't it funny how when we were 15 we thought that everyone in their 20's was an adult and so mature? It seems damn right ridiculous now! I turn 21 this week and although truth be told it doesn't feel any different to other birthdays, despite how it's meant to be one of the big birthdays of your life, it has given me a reason to think about those first 21 years and perhaps what I have learnt in that short but forever time. In no way am I trying to be the voice of reason, because really lets face it I have no reason, but I do honestly believe these are the little fragments of life I have learnt and I thought it would be poignant to share them with you as my 21st birthday approaches. 


1. Nothing lasts forever
I once thought I would be 12 forever and that going to school and going to town at the weekends would be my life forever. Oh how naive I was! Although we all long to go back and might miss certain times of our lives, it's good to know that nothing does last forever. When times are tough just bear in mind what a wise, curly, ginger haired, orphan once said... The sun will come out tomorrow...

2. Money does not buy happiness
Money can buy pretty things which sure can buy semi permanent happiness. But when it comes down to it you cannot buy family and friends, these relationships are priceless in comparison to that top you saw in Topshop. 

3. Short term gains often cause long term problems 
I once thought loosing a lot of weight would make me happy, but it didn't. In fact dangerous dieting led to long term health and mental health problems than I could have ever imagined. I guess you could apply this to pretty much anything in life; what may give you a quick buzz might lead to long term damage. Ever heard the saying your actions have consequences? Sorry to sound like your mum...

4. People will believe anything
If people are that interested in gossiping they will believe almost anything. Although these lies and rumours can be hurtful at the time, it's important to remember that what Susie says of Sally says more about Susie than it does of Sally. 

5. Academic success is not everything
Teachers put so much unneeded pressure on students these days. Your life is not all about temporarily filling your head with useless information to get an A in that test! The stress it causes is just silly and lets face it when will we ever need to know what Charlotte Bronte was going through when she wrote Jane Eyre... THERE IS MORE TO LIFE!

6. You don't know everything 
And shock horror you can be wrong too! Some people also seem to have a very hard time admitting this too, so just be warned you can never change a stubborn persons mind if it is already made up. 

7. For every bad person there are two good 

When you experience bad people throughout your life you can often expect the rest of the world to be the same. Although I can find it hard to build relationships with people and let them in, I have also discovered that there are some truly wonderful people in the world. 


8. Life is unfair
Yup it really is but it is for everyone at some point. And I hate to be so cliche but every cloud has a silver lining didn't you know? Failures, heartbreak at 16 can all teach us something and give us a new skill or understanding that we didn't have before. So thanks for breaking my heart pal, I am now a qualified relationship guru...

9. Little things mean a lot 
Like somebody making you the PERFECT cup of tea, getting into a bed with fresh sheets or buying yourself a bunch of fresh flowers. 

10. Comparisons cause chaos
Be kind, everyone has their own battle it's just sometimes you don't always see it. Comparing your life with another persons life is a complete and utter waste of your precious time! The grass may always look greener on the other side, but concentrate on watering your own grass for a change.

11. You are in charge of your own happiness
Perhaps that hardest thing I have learnt, but the only person who can change your life is you. You can put the blame and responsibility on everyone else when your life isn't going the way you planned, but when it comes down to it only you have the power to change its path.

12. Time is a great healer
When things go wrong which is inevitable in life then the pain can sometimes feel overwhelming. As time goes on that pain does lessen, sure it doesn't always go away but each new day brings a new chance to wake up and start again. Sometimes it felt like the world was over and there was no moving forward, but the truth is if you believe in a better tomorrow it eventually does come. 

13. Manners cost nothing
It really doesn't cost a thing or take much effort to say thank you to someone who holds the door for you, or please when ordering your coffee. And it's amazing how good it feels to smile or say hello to a stranger and they respond with smile too. 

14. Always be honest, but never be cruel
Yeah the truth can hurt sometimes when it is needed to be told. But in some situations if you have nothing nice to say then just don't say it at all. Sure Sandra on receptions hair isn't your particular style of choice, but tell her it looks good when she comes back from the hairdressers! I am not saying print her a certificate off for worlds best hairstyle or going totally overboard, but just give encouragement to people who need it most. 

15. People can be cruel
And some people never change. Human nature is a funny one isn't it? Bullies often target the vulnerable ones and the bullies themselves often have a lot of issues with their own self esteem and therefore have to take it out on others to feel better. Words can hurt, there is no denying that. But instead of allowing their words to hurt you, pity them. They are the ones who have to put others down in order to feel good. 

16. Don't pretend to be someone your not 
As a teenager I always tried to fit in, whether that was wearing clothes only because someone else was or giving up a hobby I loved because it was seen as uncool. I wish I hadn't done these things because at the end of the day I was only lying to myself. There is nothing wrong with who you are or what you love and you should NEVER let anyone tell you that there is. 

17. Holding onto hate hurts you more than the other person
For years I resented my dad for never wanting anything to do with me growing up. And I admit it wasn't until last year that I finally just built a bridge and got over it. Okay I will always have hurt and unanswered questions, but what good was it doing me holding onto those bitter feelings? It didn't fix anything and it sure as heck didn't make me feel any better. 


18. Success can often mean failure first
When I was studying for my A Levels I worked so hard, day and night studying notes and getting my mum to ask me question after question. The first lot of exams in my first year I did terribly; and I can remember being absolutely devastated. I wondered what on earth the point of all that work was if I was going to end up with practically nothing? It took me a while to get my head back in the game (cheeky High School Musical reference there...) but I did and in the end I got AAA. I learnt from my mistakes and the failure in the end actually pushed me to want to achieve and work for what I Wanted. 


19. In order to be loved you must first love yourself
How can you expect to be in a good relationship with anyone whether that be a partner or a friend, if you cannot love and respect yourself first? This one might just be the hardest one for me as I admit that I do not love nor even like myself, but it takes work. I know that in order to maintain a decent relationship I am going to have to learn to appreciate and respect myself, before anyone else can do the same. 

20. There is no such thing as perfection
We all waste so much time trying to achieve something that doesn't actually exist. Perfection is not real, it is entirely fictitious and everyone has their flaws, it's what makes us human! The perfect life does not exist and the more time you spend wishing your life was perfect the less time you'll have to enjoy life.

21. Never stop dreaming
And never tell yourself you aren't good enough or can't achieve your goals. 




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7 comments

  1. I loved reading this post, I turned 20 this year and I'm also asking myself where all these years went. All of your advice is on point, I also spent too much time pretending to be someone I wasn't and yes, we all have to choose happiness, otherwise we'll never get there. Number 20 also made me laugh because I just typed up a post with basically the exact same message. xx

    113-things-to-say.blogspot.com

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    1. I am so glad you enjoyed it and you could relate to them <3

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  2. This was such a great post! It's true though, I turned 19 back in May and honestly am starting to feel a bit old! It's weird to think, back when I was 15 / 16 maybe I was convinced I was going to end up spending the rest of my life with this one boy, who ended up (probably unintentionally lol) breaking my heart and now I'm like see ya later pal to anyone who even half mistreats me! Being a teenager is strange because you feel like an adult but it's only when you look back at it after leaving school etc that you realise you were literally clueless about most things! xxx

    http://www.lilyolivia.co.uk

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    1. Aw thank you! Please don't say you feel old at 19 because right now you're making me feel like a grandma haha! I was in the exact same position I thought I was in a dead mature relationship and I was OBVIOUSLY so much more experienced than everyone else.... OH how wrong I was. I think it is just part of growing up?xxx

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  3. These all speak to me especially money and acedemic success, even though I'm at uni I don't feel like I've actually achieved anything and failure is always first before you achieve something!

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    1. You have achieved something though as you're at university which if that's what you want is a big thing for you! So don't be so hard on yourself. And failure does come first but I always think it often leads to much greater things xxx

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