Saturday, 30 January 2016

A little pink dream

It seems I have got my crafting mojo back, finally!

After my success at Christmas with selling my handmade decorations, I decided to take a little break and plan ahead for the next year. I have had so many ideas buzzing around in my head. I am constantly browsing online or visiting Hobby Craft to get supplies. I had everything you could imagine - felt, wool, cotton. But something was missing. The motivation to craft.

I felt lonely without it, as crafting had gotten me through the difficulties I faced during the festive season and somewhat been my therapy. Luckily it has come back and now I am excited to show you one of the little bits I am working on. 

Dream catchers are a pretty addition to any home whether you believe in the Native American folklore or not. Personally I like to believe that by hanging a dream catcher above my bed only good dreams can be encouraged.

Whatever your decor I am sure you can find a dream catcher to suit your individual style. That's where my crafting love comes in. I have been making some dream catchers recently and wanted to share with you one of my favourite completed designs.



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Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Oriental & copper trend in interiors

I always wished I could master the skill of origami and create beautiful, bespoke pieces to hang in my room. But sadly, I never could. However, this past week I have been admiring oriental interiors, and it seems that there has been a few more home decor emerging; including pieces with an origami pattern.



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Friday, 22 January 2016

Depression isn't a real illness

I wonder what it's like to think depression isn't an illness. To feel confused when they hear of someone not being able to work due to being depressed. It must be pretty glorious to simply think it can all be fixed with a little bit of exercise or a good nights sleep. I wish I could say I felt depressed one day but wake up happy the next. I would give anything to have one off day, but still be okay to get up and get dressed. 
Instead I am either left in great distress, reduced to floods of tears consumed with thoughts I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy, or completely numb and lifeless, lacking the energy to even get a drink. 
There comes a time when you begin to stop trying to explain to people that the medication won't heal the wound that has been gaping open for so long. The wound has become infected and sore, and it hurts to cleanse and medicate it. 
My heart is broken each time somebody comments on my weight gain and how much better I look. Agreed, I am nowhere near as physically poorly as I was in 2014 during my hospital stay. But the mind hasn't healed, I am still left with so many unanswered questions and the pain is still very real. 
For those who tell me to be grateful for being alive, for having a roof over my head and a loving family - I apologise but I can't. Indeed I am lucky in those aspects but my mind can't accept these factors quite so easily. Mental illness isn't physical and lyes internally, gnawing away at your brain until there is nothing left. It's waking up and wishing you hadn't, sleeping 20+ hours a day then never sleeping at all, the lights being to bright and a whisper being too loud, and it's seeing the darkness when you once saw the light. 
The next time you think depression isn't a real illness, please talk to me. Because I can promise you it is very real.  
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Thursday, 21 January 2016

Birdcage table lamp from Dunelm

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Set the caged bird free...

So many pretty lights, so little time. One of my ultimate favourites is this cream birdcage table lamp from Dunelm. I've had it a while now, yet it still remains one of the main aspects in my room I admire the most. Looking on the internet, it doesn't look like they do this specific design anymore although there is one very similar; you can view it by clicking here. I am thankful that birdcages are still popular through the home decor world and especially in the wedding community. It means lots more beautiful things on the shelves to add to the home.
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Wednesday, 20 January 2016

VINTAGE DISNEY MEMORIES


The countdown to operation 21st Disneyland Paris has officially begun. The 2nd June could not come any sooner. Each day that passes is a day closer to quite possibly the most magical place on earth, am I right? Of course I'm right.

It's been years since I last went to DLP, it's been that long that I can't even remember. I think I was about sixteen and it was New Years Eve. The reason I don't know is because we lost ALL our photos from our past three trips to Disney, so I am not 100% sure what the year was.
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SLEEPING BEAUTY HOME DECOR INSPIRATION



Disney has always been one of my main inspiration sources. Planning my trip to Disneyland Paris has had me dreaming about Disney interior. In particular Sleeping Beauty. This flora, shabby chic, pastel heaven is my kind of decor.

This is a dreamy duvet set from Dunelm is the Pink Olivia and gives the essence of a true Disney Princess. I can imagine Princess Aurora dreaming away wrapped in this duvet.
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Monday, 18 January 2016

Field day bedroom interior



Oh my first interior wish list! How exciting! I have been inspired to create a wish list when coming across this gorgeous bedding from NEXT called Field Day. I don't know about you but I am  fed up of Winter, it can move on and let Spring back in. I love all the pastel pallets that are around during Spring, but if you're like me you can't get enough of them all year round.

This pretty, watercolour effect duvet cover is very me. By that I mean it's floral, pastel and just cutesy. I am a sucker for anything of this design.
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Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Welcome 2016



When it comes to making new years resolutions I have never been one to participate. In honesty I have never really been fond of new year itself as a celebration. 

Resolutions aren't my thing no, but setting goals are.

It has been a long time since I have sat down with myself and thought: This is what I want to achieve in 2016. 
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A tradition I will miss this year



I wouldn't say I am recovered from my eating disorder in the slightest. Yes physically I am what is considered as 'healthy', but mentally I am still scarred. This time of year is my worst nightmare, as if it's not hard enough to escape from the world of juice detoxes and diets, January brings the whole charade of people becoming gym bunnies, eating their kale and weekly weigh ins. It's not just on social media it's shoved full force down our throats through other media platforms such as TV, advertisements and even soaps. I was even in a supermarket and couldn't escape the diet magazines or low this or low that products. 


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Tuesday, 12 January 2016

MY DISNEYLAND PARIS BUCKET LIST

As a child I was blessed to have been able to visit Disneyland Paris four times. I have been twice in Summer and twice during Christmas. It is fair to say I hold a lot of happy memories there and it truly is the most magical place on earth.

As my 21st approaches in June, me and my mum decided after all the sadness of the past few years we needed a holiday and where else better to go for my birthday other than Disney!

To say I am excited would be an understatement. I cherish Disney so close to my heart, not only from Childhood memories of watching the videos or visiting the park itself, but now from adulthood as it still brings me so much happiness. There is nothing quite like a traditional Disney movie. And in my opinion you can never be too old for Disney!

So here are 10 things on my bucket list ready for June that I have to do whilst in Disneyland Paris. I have stolen some beautiful pictures from Pinterest as obviously I don't have my own at the moment, but 100% sure I will be coming home with hundreds.
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Tuesday, 5 January 2016

The first page of an unwritten story


A diagnosis of mental illness can be terrifying. I was once afraid that I would be judged if I shared my own diagnosis. I didn't want to tell people because of fear of judgement and the stigmas that are attached to each illness. It's hard when you feel there are so many expectations that come along with your illness. I have spent years struggling with various mental health problems which has led me to become socially excluded and clinically depressed. Some days I find it easy to talk about my continuous struggle, and others I don't.

It's hard when you feel there are so many expectations that come along with your illness.
It's okay if you don't want to share your diagnosis, nobody is going to hold you at gun point and force you. But the point is that you shouldn't be afraid to speak out or to share your experiences. As I write this I am still fearful that I will either be mocked or be considered as a 'freak' for even starting a blog, constant thoughts consume my mind of how people will scoff at the thought of: "who on earth would be interested in what plain old Emily Jayne has to say". I will be honest I am quiet, shy and reserved. I am the person you don't really notice when she walks into a room, or the girl at college who wouldn't put her hand up to answer a question in fear of looking a fool.

I can't lie to you and admit that I am accepting of my diagnosis, but I am trying to become more open about them. I hold the hope that if I become more open and aware of myself, then the people around me will do too. As for being judged, then I assume that will happen. I could be judged on my hair colour, my height or my political beliefs, so my mental health issues won't be any different.

All I can say is - mental health is a lonely, lonely place.



It's a hard cross to bear 
But you know what? The people who judge you because you have a mental illness aren't worth having in my life or anyone else's. It's a hard cross to bear to accept that some people in life will never understand or have empathy for those of us so tortured by mental health. However all we can do is use different platforms in the hope that one day we will have a world a little bit more understanding of the realities of mental health in general and the services. It would be stupid to say that we haven't moved on leaps and bounds since the days of social exclusion and basically torturous 'treatment' methods. As a society we seem to value the treatment of physical illness over mental, and to me that is just wrong. It is just as crucial and fundamental that we treat mental health in the same way.

The internet makes me feel less lonely 
This is my blog and as I like to think of it my own open diary. I have needed to feel purpose for a very long time as well as having a useful place to share my experiences whether they be good or bad.

This is going to be my journey through 2016 (and who knows beyond?) and how I continue to cope with depression on a daily basis. I promise not to sugar coat anything and to be brutally honest about everything. I believe that honesty really is the best policy. However I don't want this blog to be doom and gloom, I want to share my passion for writing, photography, crafts. These are all areas I want to work super hard on in the next year!

So here I am, my name is Emily, I am 20 years old, a Gemini, cat mother x2. I hope you stick around.
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